'He's not good for you- walk away', 'You deserve better than that, just walk away', 'It's time to walk away'...
Introduction:
"He's not good for you—walk away." "You deserve better than this—just walk away." These phrases are meant to comfort, but they often spark fear instead of peace. They can feel like commands to sever something we believe is meaningful, even if it's causing pain.
Whether you're in a relationship or caught in a situationship, the thought of leaving can feel like walking into the cold after being wrapped in warmth. Sometimes, learning how to walk away when you don’t want to, is about continuing forward rather than stepping back.
The Fear of Letting Go:
We all crave connection. It's human nature to hold onto connections, sparks and relationships that awaken parts of us we forgot existed. These connections make us feel alive, seen, and beautiful, often without effort. Each emotionally charged interaction with this person reawakens a part of us and makes us feel alive.
Why would anyone want to walk away from this feeling?
Is it wrong if we choose to look at the situation in front of us and appreciate how beautiful it is that we're willing to explore connection, and pursue that feeling that makes us feel on top of the world? No, of course not !
But staying too close to something that burns us—like standing near a fire for warmth—can leave scars, ones which can prevent us from opening up to what is truly for us later on down the line.
Why We Stay:
When we meet a person we 'click' with it as if we're experiencing a 'soul-connection' to another human being. They awaken a part of us that makes us feel alive, and we soon fall in love with that feeling. We begin to scout for ways to make sure that feeling never leaves. We choose to believe that something special can exist against all odds, to ensure this feeling lives within us forever.
But sometimes, it's not the person but the feeling they give us that we hold onto.
But is it them we truly desire? Or is it the idea of being chosen, valued, and loved? We know sometimes the sacrifices we make to remain and pursue that feeling are more than we should allow and accept. But it’s not about blaming yourself for staying; it’s about learning when to take a step back to protect your energy and peace. It's a matter of mastering self-love and care. Not repeating patterns of self-deprecation and relentless self-blame.
How to Walk Away When You Don’t Want To:
'To walk away' can make us feel like we are having to tear ourselves away from the warmth we feel inside and walk back into the cold where we feel alone. But what if it doesn't have to be that way? What if we choose to simply keep walking forward?
Continuing forward means giving yourself the time and support to take baby steps toward clarity. With every step you choose to take, you are slowly creating a space of peace and reflection, allowing your emotions to rest and ask yourself:
Does this connection bring me the love and peace I honestly deserve?
Am I choosing this person, or chasing out of fear of being alone?
Is this person giving me something I could give to myself?
Does this person make me feel genuinely good about myself when I'm around them?
You do not need to be afraid of accepting and releasing these answers. It may feel that the moment we accept our truth we have to cut off our emotions. But there's no need. Simply accept what you truly feel deep within you, and over time, these answers will guide and support you. Once your mind is clear on what you desire, your emotions are quick to follow.
A Leap of Faith:
You are brave to explore love despite past heartaches. You are courageous to believe in connection. But your greatest strength lies in your ability to continue moving forward, knowing that we can feel love for others, without needing to chase a reciprocation.
In her book Pivot Year, Brianna Wiest writes: "The leap of faith is when you step away from what's good in pursuit of what could be extraordinary."
This leap doesn’t happen overnight. We simply need to believe that the extraordinary exists. And let this guide us with each small step we choose to take for ourselves towards self-discovery.
You Can Choose:
Love should feel easy. The butterflies should make us feel light. Love and relationships are not supposed to deter our attention and energy from loving ourselves and building a life that makes us happy to wake up to every morning. It should be another reason why we wake up and smile every morning. We are not made to chase, control and fix human connections like our life depends on it.
Once we understand that the love we feel lives within us, and whether that person chooses to stay or not, that love remains within us. We can choose to reawaken that part of us. Choose to give yourself the same soft-hearted care, attention and kindness you are capable of giving unconditionally to those around you.
Once we begin to grow the love within us ourselves, our focus will shift from 'I hope they chose me' to 'Do I want to choose them?'
Amelia X
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